Book info

Beyond The Highland Mist (2007)

Beyond the Highland Mist (2007)
Rating
4.01 of 5 Votes: 5
ISBN
0440244161 (ISBN13: 9780440244165)
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English
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dell
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Beyond The Highland Mist (2007)
Beyond The Highland Mist (2007)

About book: Fans of Mac and Barrons STAY AWAY from this offensive pile of dung.This is the fantasy story of the beautiful, man hating (but not really, do not read this is you have any pro feminist views at all) orphan 'Adrienne De Simone' who travels back in time and right onto the lap of a violent laird, all because of the jealousy of the fairy queen's lover.This is actually convenient for both the creepy old laird and Adrienne; for him because he just inexplicably killed his mad daughter right before she was to be betrothed to the infamously handsome man called 'the Hawk', it was convenient for our 21st century heroine because she had just killed her boyfriend (sounds exciting right? Well it is not) and was therefore some sort of felon (conveniently she has no family or friends or life at all so she doesn't miss her home).So the old fat laird marries her off as his own daughter 'Janet'...But although Adrienne deals with the time travel very pragmatically (apparently because she was brought up in New Orleans), she can not deal with being married to a beautiful man. God no. This is because she had her heart broken once before by a very mean man who was also presumably very attractive. Her new unbelievably handsome husband, who has a very chiseled jaw line, and hard as wood abs, falls instantly in love with her, not only because of her astonishing beauty but also because she says no to him (no woman has ever done this before). So as you can guess the rest of the book is about 'Hawk', with his long dark, sexy flowing locks over his beautiful face, as he tries to breaks the implacable will of his wife, (using the force of sappiness) apparently much like one breaks in a falcon but much less sexy.Part 'Midsummer nights dreams' part, 'Highlander fanfiction' and mostly 'offensive literature that will make you want to smash up your kindle'. I would recommend this to any one who feels the need to self induce vomiting or severe book rage.Things that pissed me off with this book (may contain spoilers):Well the whole style of writing, the plot and the characters reminded me too much a fanfiction. It was not convincing, well rounded and the story just seemed like some woman's lame fantasy.Adrienne:She had potential, she was an orphan who had to fight to get what she wanted. When she found out her fiance was deceiving her he ended up dead. This all sounds great, but some how Karen Marie Moning has created a totally insipid dumb ass with a weird fetish for fifth century bedding (gross. just gross).Adrienne has no friends, she falls for her fiance because he was rich and good looking and then acted totally naive during the relationship. Not that she deserved what happened, but I basically had no sympathy for her on that front. The whole relationship seemed artificial.Her 'vow' never to love a good looking guy again is just stupid, although she going for men based on their looks alone is equally lame...she is just far too inexperienced and has no insight at all.Inexperience. I can not. I will not read another book about a friggin totally beautiful college educated virgin. I just don't like it, or think it is any sort of virtue that I can relate to. Furthermore I find it entirely implausible.Despite saying otherwise over and over, all she really wanted the whole way through the book was to be married and have lots and lots and lots of babies. Which is also what 'Hawk' wanted the whole way through the book. bravo guys! Basically the fairies planned to ruin some lives but actually ended up love-matching to annoying but very good looking people together. Their babies will be very aesthetically pleasing.She has no personality. I can't think of one personal attribute I like that she can lay claim too, and there is no growth of character for her at all.Hawk:Well he is clearly very good looking, and he has had many many many many many lovers. And he really knows how to have great sex. But underneath it all he just wants a wee wifey to have lots of babies for him.Basically he is a fucking sap under his rock hard, bronzed body. Despite his rippling muscles he is an emotional wreck with no idea of self worth and a crippling lack of confidence. This is why he carries on obsessing over his new 'wife' that he doesn't know at all, despite her apparent interest in another man. His love for the beautiful Adrienne is instant and annoying. He never stops and I JUST DON'T GET IT! Maybe it is because she has long golden hair and a tiny waist, with a perfect 'bosom'.His stupid fucking nursery he built years ago made me puke into my mouth. That sort of shit should not happen. Does any one honestly like that years ago he built a perfect nursery with lots and lots of cribs and toys for when he got married??? Anyone? No? I didn't think so. Why doesn't he go around fighting, more like they do in highlander? There is only one fight scene and it is with an effing fairy... and the sex scenes were so awkward they had to be skipped.Grimm and the rest...:Hawks side kick is a douche bag. He thinks it is his fault that Adrienne is there cause he wished on a shooting star. He gives her a really hard time for being cold to hawk...BUT NOT ONCE DOES HE, OR ANYONE ELSE, ACKNOWLEDGE HOW HARD IT MIGHT BE FOR ADRIENNE TO BE RIPPED FROM HER OWN TIME, LEAVING HER WHOLE LIFE, FAMILY, TECHNOLOGY, COMFORTS, LOVERS AND JOB AND THEN BE FORCED TO MARRY SOME DUDE WITH A NAME LIKE 'THE HAWK'! WTF! Luckily for Adrienne she has no life back in the 21st century because she is an insipid mollusk with a very attractive outer shell. The weirdest/worst thing is nobody is even interested in what is going on in the future, or how she can help them with the medical advancements we have in our age or the military tactics we have learned etc....WTFUCK

Originally posted at FanLit.Modern Seattle: Ravishingly gorgeous Adrienne de Simone (whose every body part is “perfect,” though she doesn’t know that) hates beautiful men because she just had a bad experience with the gorgeous man who was her fiancé. Never! Never again!Medieval Scotland: Sidheach James Lyon Douglas, otherwise known as “the Hawk” (even his mother calls him that) or “the King’s Whore,” is the hottest laird on the Highlands, but he’s never met a woman he could love. Every one of his body parts is “perfect” and he knows it.The Fairy Court: When the fae start to meddle with Adrienne and the Hawk, mischief ensues. Hawk falls in love with Adrienne and she, despite the promises to herself, starts to wonder what might be throbbing under his kilt.From the beginning I had a feeling that Beyond the Highland Mist wasn’t going to be my book of the year, but I picked it up because I really liked Karen Marie Moning’s FEVER series, I like to occasionally step out of my comfort zone, and Beyond the Highland Mist was on a two-for-one sale at Audible.I wish I had saved my credit. To put it succinctly, I hated Beyond the Highland Mist. It’s everything about romance novels that I hate, starting with the half-naked guy with the six-pack abs on the cover. Then there’s the story which, honestly, has pretty much the same story and plot devices as every other uninspired romance novel I’ve ever read. You know: they automatically hate each other but there’s some reason they have to spend a lot of time together, one of them (at least) keeps protesting that s/he will never (“NEVER!”) love the other but over the course of the story s/he finds out how awesome the other one is (usually something having to do with how he dotes on his mother or secretly loves children and maybe even secretly supports orphans and/or widows), one of them (at least) gets sick or injured and is nursed back to health by the other one while the sick or injured one never knows the other one is there, they keep having these misunderstandings about their feelings for each other (or maybe they’re mistakenly jealous of a third party) while it’s obvious to everyone else that they’re hot for each other…. It’s so boringly predictable and we all know what’s going to happen at the end. They eventually decide they want to get married though they’ve rarely had a conversation that consists of much more than “I will have you! You will be mine!” and “No! Never!”Other than the back and forth lusty angst, that’s about all there is to the plot of Beyond the Highland Mist. There’s a little bit of intrigue with the fairy queen, but it barely holds the rest together. The story is all about sexual urges, jealous obsession and love-sickness and, even though I read romance novels very rarely, I have read this plot at least a dozen times before.But that’s not the worst part of Beyond the Highland Mist. The worst part was the writing, which surprised me because I liked Moning’s style in the FEVER series. But it’s awful here, to the point of hilarity. On every page of Beyond the Highland Mist you’ll find some version of this sort of insipidness: rough velvet tongues, creamy breasts being cupped, nipples being traced, taut bellies, silken nubs, chiseled faces, arching backs, hungry tongues, hot shafts with velvety pink tips, ebony eyes, hot kisses, tiny taut nubs, betraying wetness, plum-ripe mouths, honeyed heat, satiny thighs, ragged breathing, buckling knees, weak knees, traitorous bodies, shattering defenses, velvety friction, throbbing shafts, bodies made of molten steel, velvet lips, husky brandy-rich voice, husky purrs and growls, hot silk tongues, brutal punishing kisses, hot spicy male scent, whimpering against mouths, eyes that are dark pools of shadow, and lots of mouth claiming and deep hot kisses. It sounds like every other over-the-top romance novel I’ve ever accidentally opened.I can’t even tell you how many times her silvery mane was mentioned, or his chiseled steel body. And Moning actually tells us that he’s hung like a stallion. No, seriously. And I don’t want you to miss these little gems:Read the rest at FanLit.http://www.fantasyliterature.com/revi...
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Reviews
Navessa
You have to break from the Romance every now and then... Usually I can't read then for a few months if I've been dating MMA fighters. Not trying to stereotype, but they get hit in the head a lot. And as close as they are to historical MC, I really start to value education. Oh reality, fml.
Kristen (Peddler of Smut)
2 1/2 to 3 starsI'm glad I read this series out of order (these books can be read out of order). I'm honestly not sure if would have continued the series had I read the first three books in the series first. Personally, I don't think the series was particularly engrossing until after the third book. Books four, five, and six are my favorite, with book six, The Immortal Highlander, my favorite of the series. You must, however, read books four, five, six, and seven in order. I recommend reading the series in this order: Kiss of the Highlander (#4),The Dark Highlander (#5),The Immortal Highlander (#6), Spell of the Highlander (#7), The Highlander Touch (#3), Beyond the Highland Mist (#1), To Tame a Highland Warrior (#2)
AH
There's about 6 months left to wait until the next installment of the Fever series comes out. So, I thought to myself, why not read Karen Moning's Highlander series. I had heard that the first book was not that great and that I could just skip to the third book. I am so glad that I didn't because I had a lot of fun reading Beyond the Highland Mist.Beyond the Highland Mist has all the elements of a fun summer read:(1) The hero is a "perfect" man. His "endowments" are legendary and well described, which adds a little cheesy humour. Of course, said hero has a nice Scottish brogue, which adds even more sexiness.(2) The heroine is a virgin (of course!). She continuously fights off the advancements of our hero, even though she is attracted to him. She does come from another time, so that is cool.(3) The setting is Scotland in the 1500's. Misty, green, clean air....and all the men are well muscled (no cars, no computers, no electronics, so that seems right).(4) Add a few steamy hot love scenes.....(5) And a little fairy mayhem, just to cause a little mischief.And there you have it. A great way to pass a nice summer day, sitting outside by the pool, a cool drink in hand, and a fun summer read.I will definitely be looking for the next book in the series.
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